Wing it?

Lizz,

I wish we could have Saturday morning writing sessions at the Huntington every week and lead gloriously exciting lives away from Oneonta for the rest of the week! But alas we'll have to blog it instead...

I agree with Ben - there will be a few people who have it planed down to the week but most people will be like I want to be a writer this is what I'm supposed to do, right? I think that you should go with the piece they accepted you on and take a sampling of other stuff. Just grab it and go. You might use it, you might not, but at least you can say this is where I'm coming from and it's a pretty good chance that it's got at least a thread of where you're headed.

Use your adviser! Tell him/her right up front that you're considering the mystery route but you love literature and is there a more meta-literature road you can take or should you pick a genre. That's what they're there for - to help guide you - plus it's your first session broad ideas are expected. If it was this time next year and you were still like ummm, well maybe, then you'd have a problem. Until then don't put undue pressure on yourself. You're gonna rock it!

I'm also thinking about recycling for the quirk challenge. Finding Alice is a non traditional story with a dark twist and reading their published novels list that seems to be the road to take. I also thought maybe Pan would work here, but I wanted to ask you if you'd care if I took the idea back? I know we never actually worked on it, but I did throw it out there as a trilogy idea and if you still want to work on it together that's totally ok!

I'm here if you want to pro/con sample lists!

~Ashley

P.S. You are not an old lady! I totally want a garden :) Also I'm thinking about adopting a cat. Thoughts? 

No Purpose. No Porpoises Either.

Ashley,

Greetings from the library! I came into town with Ben today so that I could run errands, and now I'm sitting in our room at the library writing this post. It would be more fun if you were sitting across from me and we were going to see a movie after, but it's okay. I wasn't trying to guilt you.

I'm glad you like Providence, and I'm glad you love your job! Mine is still fun, too, but I wouldn't say I love it. I can't wait to have a job someday that I can say that about. I'd love to come visit sometime- I've been to Newport, but never to Providence, and you know how I love theater.

Your reading nook looks awesome! I don't have any pictures today, but mine will probably either be of the garden, or of the socks that I'm knitting. I'm such an old lady.

Thanks for the breathing exercises in the last post. I definitely need to remind myself to do that occasionally. I'm leaving in a week and a half, and I have no car yet (working on it, fingers crossed the loan app goes through this time) no idea what I'm going to study, and no idea what writing samples to bring.

Actually, that last one is a slight exaggeration. I feel like I should probably bring the one that got me in to the program. They say to bring samples to read, since there are opportunities to do that if you want. I don't want to read, but I feel like I should have a few things anyway so that I can start planning my two years with my first advisor.

As far as what to study though, I'm at a loss. I've thought about tracking the evolution of the mystery (because I like those) from Poe, to the split between hard-boiled detective fiction and cozy mysteries, up through the thrillers of today like Dan Brown's new one. Which reminds me...what are the odds that book is on the new fiction shelf downstairs? Probably pretty slim, but I'll look on my way out.

I have such a varied taste in books that I'm having a hard time nailing down a topic. Ben assures me that I won't be the only one who isn't sure what to study, and he's probably right, but if he's not, I don't want to look like an idiot. I mean, it is grad school- I feel like I should have SOME idea of my purpose going in.

I am so stoked for the Quirk Books competition too! I think I'm going to go sort of classic as well, and try my hand at adapting the screenplay that I've rewritten like four times into a novel. I love the characters, and they're there, but something isn't clicking. Maybe it needs to be a novel first. I think that will be my Camp NaNo project for July. Can you believe it's time for Camp 2.0 already?

Anyway, I'm going to end this now, and go see about Inferno downstairs before I go pick up Ben and then drop him off so I can turn around and go to work. My next post will be full of baseball people stories, I'm sure.

-Lizz

PS- I love your glasses, they look super cute!

Greetings From Prividence!

Lizz,

I just went through three years worth of facebook messages trying to find the password for the blog email! We've had some pretty good ideas - guess how many we actually finished?!

Anywho.

One week in and I'm quite enjoying Providence. I love my job which I don't think I've ever been able to say before and I'm really glad that I got the opportunity to travel the museum road. I think that I had been spending so much time trying to fit into these pre-constructed pathways for a career that I was continually striking out. And I was so frustrated! Because as we've already discussed I felt like I had already done all the 'right' things. I don't really know what my future looks like job wise, but the museum looks like a promising journey and the best of both worlds - both creative and academic. I'm certainly excited to see where it leads.

That being said, the end goal is still to be a Broadway actress or a enormously successful novelist :)

I haven't has a lot of exploring time yet. What I have seen seems to be vibrant and full of energy. Though I really do need to learn Spanish! I feel like more people are speaking a foreign language than English and I feel so far behind the times only knowing one language! I do know that there is quite a bit of theater so you'll have to come and visit and we can judge people together :)

Here is a picture of my reading nook.

Beautiful, yes?

I have a pretty big apartment and the nook is in my little office. All in all it is a great first place. The living room is plenty big enough if I decide to have company. The bedroom has three great big windows (no view, but great natural light). The kitchen isn't huge, but there is a lot of storage and the walls are a lovely peach color which is super cheerful. I only have two complaints. 1) The only bathroom is off of my bedroom which means that I have to keep it clean (the bedroom not the bathroom that needs to stay clean obviously) and that people have to journey through 'my' space. 2) The landlord let people make holes in the wall to hang there things. In itself not a bad thing, but now there are little holes or nails or screws sticking out of all the walls and it's driving me nuts to look at them! Oh, I also need to buy curtains but they are far to expensive for panels of fabric and I do have pull down shades so they can wait a few weeks. And by weeks I mean paychecks.

In other news - I got glasses!

I went in thinking they'd be like see you in a year and was instead told that I am super nearsighted and have an astigmatism. They did the whole this is your life with/without glasses dialogue and I was like wow I can see so much better! Overall I like them, though seeing the frames out of the corner of my eye is still a bit frustrating.

Now onto important things - writing!

I love this challenge. They just dared me to write a love story. IN! I have no idea what I'm going to write about. I'm thinking I want to keep it simple. I think everybody will go crazy with the paranormal and I'd like it to be a classic story. Maybe do a Before Sunrise thing and have it all take place in 24 hours... I'm going to think on it a little bit more and then have you play devil's advocate.

More importantly still. You start grad school in 2 weeks!

(insert me calming your panic here - now breathe)

Tell me what kind of samples you need? Also give me an overview of what the first session will be like! I want to know if I can steal any ideas without having to pay for the price of the course :p

Let me know what your thinking about for your quirk book!

~Ashley        

Fair Warning: This post is for ranting and not much else

The worst place to reside is inside of your own head and yet here I am again -at least its rent free.

I have three choices for the next year.

1. I have been accepted to the Wright Institute in Berkley California. I could attend. Get my doctorate. Be a psychologist. Hope that the thousands of dollars I spend don't end up being a whim and that I enjoy psychology as much as a career than as a topic of conversation.

2. I could do AmeriCorps. I have a few opportunities, a few interviews. Nothing set in stone yet as far as acceptance, but its a reasonable option. Pro's it looks great on a resume, I generally enjoy service and being I had to put peace corps on hold its a great option in my own back yard. Cons - its another new place for one year with no ties, no support system, and no guaranteed plan in formation once I finish it up. 

3. I could stay in Oneonta, work at bassett, act at Orpheus, volunteer at the Fenimore (or any number of other local museums) and apply to the museum education programs for the fall of 2014. Obvious con - Oneonta.

I'm so freaking confused. Didn't we check all the boxs? Didn't we go to college, work menial jobs, pay our dues? Why isn't there really a fairy godmother who can come wave her wand around and point us in the right direction?

Also writing day soon? I have no idea what 50,000 words April should hold?

Thanks for listening (or reading) as always!! Your turn?

~Ashley

Of MFAs and Twilight Zone Marathons

Dear Ashley,

Guess who's going to be living upstate again in a week?

Oh, that'd be me.

Ben got the job at Oneonta, so we're frantically packing up (actually, not frantically, yet, but next week I'm sure it will be, simply because it's not now. I'm stressed about it, but at the same time, I need stuff in the next week and it can't all be in boxes. So, there will be frantic packing in my near future.) and we're going to be moving up the end of next week.

As I believe I've already said on facebook: Holy Fuck.

We're moving into his parents house and rooming with his sister while his parents are gone for the winter. I really like Jen, but after two years of just us in an apartment, I'm reluctant to move in with someone else. Even if she's totally grateful, because she admits she's scared in the house by herself, and it's too much for one person to maintain all through the winter.

I'm really really really hoping to get the Co-Manager job at Damascene Book Cellar. Seriously. I had an interview with Dan Birnbaum, who owns it, and he knows Dave and Kelly (the same Dave who got me and Ben together) so hopefully I have a chance. Because it would be the PERFECT job for me. Basically doing what I'm doing now, except with books, and not a neurotic asshole for a boss AND more money plus benefits.
BENEFITS!! It's been like five years since I've had health insurance. I'm dying for it. Pun intended.

I had a Skype interview with him Tuesday night, and I think it went well, so I'm hoping to hear back from him today or tomorrow at the latest about coming in next week while we're home for a second interview. Keep your fingers crossed, because this would take sooooo much stress out of my life it isn't even funny.

In other news, I did promise to tell you more about MFAs in Creative Writing.
I think I'm going to go for it.
I feel like if I could get on the wait list for super-selective NYU, then I have a decent chance of getting into Bennington College, which is currently my top choice school. They have a low-residency MFA too. It'd be great- I could hold a full time job and still get my Masters. Also, something that I just learned, was that MFA is a terminal degree. Meaning, it's the highest level degree that is possible in that given field. And thus, I could teach Creative Writing at a University level with one.

I still want a PhD, mostly just to flaunt it, but also because I still think a PhD in CompLit would be great, and allow me to teach whatever the hell I wanted, once I'd been doing it long enough. But right now, I'm not totally sure what I'd want it in, specifically, and I don't think I have a good enough resume to get into someplace like Cornell (top choice for PhD). And, I sort of just want the MFA. I think it's all the thinking that we've been doing lately about how we took all the right steps, and did everything we were supposed to, but we still can't get where we want to go. So it's time to do what I want.

I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life anyway.
The odds of me writing the next Twilight and becoming independently wealthy are sort of slim.
The economy has gone to shit and there's no such thing as a good stable job anymore, so why not go for the things that were too risky before (like writing, and theater).
Because really, being a cashier at a grocery store is a risky job these days.

So that's my thought process.
I'm going to need regular writing days complete with coffee and possibly a movie to preserve my sanity once we're back.

Speaking of movies... want to go see Les Mis on New Year's Eve? I think that's the first free day I'll have with no moving and I'll need a break from unpacking. Also, I don't know what our plans are for New Year's yet, but I've been hoarding a bottle of Santa Margarita Pinot Grigio for the occasion. If it's anything like what we usually do (pick an ethnicity and make a bunch of food to eat while we watch the Twilight Zone marathon that is invariably on television) I will let you know and invite you over for the night :)

See you soon!
-Lizz

Why I'm Going Insane (Today)

Dear Ashley,

I think I've told you this, but I haven't told the blog this- I think your current plan is a good one. To go back to school for Psych (not the TV show, although I love it. So dopey, and yet, awesome.) sounds like a good idea. And since you got your undergrad in that, it's at least something that you're interested in.

My news for today, is that we may be back and talking regularly face to face sooner than anticipated. Potentially, three weeks.  [insert mild  full blown panic attack here]

Oneonta High School is in need of a long term Biology Sub from January to June. Ben was sort of offered this job at the beginning of the year, but it was about two days after he had already started back at his current school, and we couldn't afford to move, so he turned it down. It just wasn't a rational thing to do, then. So whomever they got for the job clearly didn't work out because they're hiring again.

And Ben is losing his mind here. He hates so much that he had to be here for another year, that he's just going crazy, and he's depressed, and he hates the person that he's becoming. So while we really can't afford to move, and don't even know where we'd live, or what the hell I'd do with myself, he's applying. And there is a definite chance that he'll get the job. And if they offer it to him this time, he's going to take it, because it will make him happy to be there and he's more concerned with that at this point than paying his bills.

Which is lovely, really, but not at all rational. So as I'm sure you know, I'm flipping out. I don't want to be here, either. But I most definitely don't want to be there. You know as well as I do that there is nothing in the greater Oneonta area that interests me in the least.

Of course I would love to leave my job. But I'd love to leave it for something that I would enjoy doing, not to be unemployed and end up working in Cooperstown as a waitress again. So...yeah.

We've sort of skirted the issue of: He wants to be there. I can't exist there. And he will always choose his family land over me. But...we haven't had a full blown discussion and/or argument about it. So I'm not really sure what to do.

There's a bookstore on SUCO's campus that's looking for a co-manager, he told me today. I could do that. And I might have to, since I can't afford to exist here by myself. And the thing is, I'm fine leaving Philly, but I would like a little more than three weeks notice. The landlady probably would, too.

I don't even have a car. or enough money saved to really buy one. How am I supposed to get around the land of no transportation to find a job? Oh, right, and where would we live? His brother is currently living in his grandmother's house-  right. The one he's doing all of this to get back to is currently occupied.

And that's why I'm going insane today.

I swear the next post will be a happy one full of Christmassy Cheer from NYC.

-Lizz

Plan...Wait what letter are we on again?

Lizz,

You say you like my bravery (I think I'd probably call it recklessness, buy I appreciate it all the same!) well I admire your caution.

Sometimes running headfirst into something you're not sure about simply leaves you confused. I was catatonic for a month (at least) after I got home wondering if I'd just wasted a year of my life and even now when I have a little distance from the crushing feeling of failure I'm still doubting my ability to make life choices...

But for better or worse I'm not a cautious person.

Soooo where you've spent the last year carefully analyzing program and there pros and cons, waiting to take action until the time was right (which incidentally I think is the right way to do this) I'm jumping right into the next plan.

I love psychology. I love children. I love working with children who have in someway been damaged and watching them smile when I finally get through to them. I'm going to go back to school for my PsyD in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis on treating children! I think where I went wrong with policy was wanting to make a difference and thinking that it would be a bigger difference on a bigger scale, but its not.

So psychology it is!

I've narrowed the list to 12 and when I have a much more manageable group I'll give them to you for your devil's advocate speech :)

But right now my top choice is the University of Indianapolis - you should see if they have good programs for you and Ben cause as unlikely as it is that all three of us would like the same school how awesome would it be!?

 I already emailed my three potential references and now I just have to worry about GRE scores - boo! I can't find my last score report online and I really don't want to pay $175 (one hundred and seventy five dollars!!!) especially with so little time to prep, but I'm hoping my undergrad GPA and the respectable grades I received in Hungary will go towards helping me if I have a low score. Maybe next time you're up we should have a GRE cram session with sweat pants and chocolate... I like the chocolate part!  

And just so you know if I go a day without thinking about what would have happened if I'd grown a set earlier and gone to school for theater it's astonishing. I think that this year we should make a new years resolution to stop living in the land of what ifs and just start living!

~Ashley

P.S. Love the Friends reference.
P.P.S. I abandoned my novel back in week 2 (you're much more disciplined than I am), but I would love to read what you have!!