Monday, March 26, 2012

Of Socks and Scriptfrenzy

Dear Ashley,

Blog post take two, since blogger is stupid. (Lookin' at you, blogger admin that's probably reading my last post and giggling)

Congrats on applying for the peace corps! That's so exciting. Have you heard anything yet? I hope you get something awesome, so that I can continue to live vicariously through you.

The most exciting thing going on here is that I finished my very first knitted sock ever! Here it is on Ben's foot:
Fits perfectly. I was amazed.

Finishing this sock, which I started about six months ago, made me feel like a knitting superstar. It made me feel like "hey, I made a sock. A fucking SOCK! I can do anything!"

I'm still feeling pretty good about myself. I had Ro (former teacher and friend, and lady who hosts book club) read Letters to Myself and she liked it. I was interested in her opinion as a teacher, but she thought it was interesting and wasn't totally against Ariah and Tristan's relationship. She actually agreed that I shouldn't make excuses for it, so I don't think I'm going to kill off Julian. I might write it both ways anyway, just to get it out of my system, and to see which I like better, but I think, ultimately, it would be better to just leave her alone. I want the relationship between Ariah and Tristan to be completely organic and not the result of some trauma, and I want people to accept it as it is and not try to rationalize it away.

So I'm going to work on that for scriptfrenzy this year, as you suggested. I was thinking about writing Occam's Razor this year, but I think while I'm feeling pretty good about things I should try to finish them. My goal is to work on Letters... and to possibly resurrect an old screenplay of mine and polish that. And by polish, I mean keep most of the basic plot and scrap most of the lines.

My Uncle also gave me a book about freelance article writing and how to make some money at that, so I'm going to start reading it and looking into periodicals that I could write intelligently for. Article writing was never something that I saw myself doing, but I think I could bang out a few things and make some extra money, and that of course, would be good.

In real life, I'm still not sure where we're going to be this summer/in the next year. Ben's applied for a job at Downsville, and I have insider information that there's going to be a science position opening in Delhi for next year, so he's excited about that. I'm excited for him, but not at the prospect of going back to New York.

I'm still looking at Baltimore and kind of want to apply to that Masters program there. We never talk about how we want radically different things out of life except when we're drunk, which probably isn't a good thing. We should really have a long (sober) conversation about it, but both of us are too cowardly to bring it up. Well, I know I am anyway. I guess I shouldn't speak for him. He has said that he wants me to do what will make me happy, but I can't figure out what that is.

I still follow Annie and Laura's blog, the one that we modeled this one after, and Laura has this seemingly perfect simple life- her posts are full of their cottage in the English countryside, and her two adorable boys, baking, crafting, and vintage-y finds from thrift shops. Part of me wants that life, and the other part of me (and larger part) knows that I can never be content with just that. I want everything.

I want to act, and to write, and to have that huge house in Italy with the olive grove like the one you took a  picture of which is currently my computer desktop background, with a steady stream of fun people coming and going. But I also want sheep. And to make upstate New York known for something other than baseball. and someone who loves me. And a dog.

Is that asking too much?

Yes, of course it is. I feel like I should be paying you for this therapy. Or at least lying down. I'll make you something pretty that you can have when you come home. I can't wait to see you!

In the meantime, I'll work on the socks that I cast on this morning. (and finding a matching skein so I can make a mate to the sock that I finished yesterday).

Let the Frenzy begin! (a little early)

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